Lady by Day Tips: Communication
A Tisket, A Tasket, A Little Sexy Basket
Introducing a sensual product into a relationship can sometimes be a little
intimidating. So here's one way to make it easier. First off, pick a toy that’s
attractive and nonthreatening (bigger doesn't always mean better). Choose
something a little stylish. We think
Layaspot
and
Dolphin
are both excellent choices. Then, create a basket filled with your lover’s
favorite things, such as chocolate, wine, cookies, any small treats that will
delight them. By pairing the new toy with your lover's favorite things and
offering it in a beautiful way, you'll likely arouse their curiosity and get
the reception you were hoping for!
The Ties That Bind
For many people, the idea of introducing S & M into their sexual repertoire
can be a little intimidating. But know that dominant and submissive sex play
needn't be of the extreme, "whips and chains" variety. In fact,
introducing
some light S & M into your sex life can actually improve your communication
as a couple, because communication is the key. Before trying any play of this
kind, talk about it together first. Make sure both of you know and are excited
by whatever you agree to try. For a first time, you may simply want to experiment
by taking turns restraining one another with a silk scarf or other light tie
and exploring one another's bodies using the hands, mouth, or a delicate prop
like a feather. Talk together afterward about what the experience was like
for both of you. S & M might not be so scary after all!
Don't Be So Serious
When was the last time you laughed during sex? Not AT your partner, of course,
just in full-on sensual joy? Due to lack of time and stress and just life,
it's easy to forget that sex is FUN! Everything about it is rife with hilarity,
including those inevitably embarrassing moments, so instead of pretending
they don't happen, revel in the ridiculousness of them. Not only will it relax
you both, it will show your partner you have the confidence to laugh at yourself--and
what's sexier than that?
Increase Your Carnal IQ
If you and your partner have trouble talking about sex, try easing into the
topic by playing a game together. Set aside a date evening for "Sex Trivia
Night." If you're feeling really bold, you could even invite friends over
to play.
Nice
or Nasty Word Game is a sexy slang game for word freaks that not only
increase your carnal IQ but also get you talking about sexual topics outside
of the bedroom. It's erotic and educational, too!
Slap and Tickle
Looking for something new to add to your sexual repertoire? Try
spanking!
Indulging your lover (or being indulged) in a light spank during love play
can arouse you both even more, not only because it's a bit naughty, but also
the action brings blood to the surface of the skin, creating a tingly sensation
in the nether regions. It also develops a new level of trust between you and
your partner that will keep communication open and allow you to get even closer.
Keep in mind that it’s important to let your partner know how hard or soft
to spank and to have an agreed-upon strategy of expressing those desires during
sex play. And if you alternate your spanks with gentle caresses and soothing
rubs, no one will emerge saddle-sore!
Phoning It In
Looking to connect with a long-distance lover, or longing for someone who
is just across town? Initiating phone sex doesn't have to be complicated.
Your opening line can be as simple as the old favorite, "What are you wearing?"
As the conversation continues, don't worry yourself about saying things just
the right way. Let your imagination lead you. Often you'll find that in the
right tone of voice, almost anything you say can sound supremely sexy!
Talk Dirty To Me
There are all sorts of different ways to talk dirty to your partner before,
during and after sex. Before sex, to make your partner really hot, try: "I’ve
been fantasizing about your hot, naked body all day." Or, "You are so sensual
and sexy; I want you." To coach them to hit all the right spots during, try
one-line instructions, such as "Softer," "Harder," "Slower," "Perfect," or
"Oh! yeah!" After sex, to show your appreciation, try: "That was the most
amazing sex I’ve ever had" or, "When can we do THAT again?"
Take the Lead
Teach your partner exactly how you like to be touched by placing your hand
over theirs and guiding them to your pleasure spots. You can turn your partner
on with your voice while showing them exactly what excites you by whispering
words to describe how you like being touched, such as "softer,"
"harder," "lighter," or, "Just like that." Show
your appreciation with works like "Oh, yeah," "That’s so hot,"
and "Oh, baby." Too shy (or aroused) to talk? Use moans and breathing
to guide them.
Pick a Card, Any Card
Write down several of your favorite sexual fantasies or positions on separate
pieces of paper, including things you’ve never done with a partner but have
always wanted to try. Have your partner do the same. Fold them all up and
put them in a special box, then, when you two are in the mood, pick one out
and play!
Meet Again for the First Time
Pretend that you and your partner or spouse have never met before and are
just seeing each other for the first time. You can either re-enact the first
time you ever met or you can "meet" in a different way altogether.
For instance, you might want to be extra flirtatious, but then play hard-to-get
after the initial introduction. Or you can try using made-up first names and
life stories to make it seem even more new and exciting. The better you can
act, the more fun your intimacy will be later.
Explore Fantasies
Write down a hot story or several starring you and your lover. Ask your partner
to do the same. Put each fantasy in a sealed envelope and trade them. The
next time you are apart you can each read a pleasant surprise - and really
look forward to seeing each other again.
I Read It Online
Ever wanted to try something but didn't know how to bring it up with your
partner? Tell them you "read something interesting online" and insert
your fantasy!
Naughty Reading
Try reading erotica out loud to each other before bedtime. You'll either have
sweet dreams or you'll stay up a little later.
Hidden Pics
It may sound like a scene out of a movie, but nothing gets your lover as aroused
as pulling out the naked photo of you that you hid in their briefcase or purse
in the middle of the day and getting a hot little surprise.
Detailed Narration
Next time you're having sex with your partner, describe to them what you're
doing with your mouth and your hands while you're doing it.
Erotic Snail Mail
Write an erotic story about you and your lover and send it to them in the
mail. It'll be the best piece of mail they've ever gotten!
Learning Center
